A new chapter of YOUR life!

Alight, once again I had a very busy day! I am going to start from now and go backwards. I will not stress SELF CARE enough. I got home from Sonic after almost forgetting to get dinner again. I made a U turn and went to Sonic again. I ordered a medium mozzarella sticks, medium tater tots, and a medium ocean water. I need to drink more water especially before my 90 minute birthday massage tomorrow. My feet are so fat and swollen and it’s really driving me “crazy”. I see a PCP soon about getting a referral to a good woman psychiatrist and will ask about my sodium and maybe a water pill. The resident doc in the hospital.. Dr. Lucy Soule advised I can start Metformin, because I am worried about weight gain on the new anti-psychotic/mood stabilizer I am on. I need to lose at least 50-80 pounds.. hopefully 100 eventually. I want to be about 160-180. I look amazing at that weight.

So I am in the drive thru at Sonic with one car in front of me. As they start to drive away, a homeless gentleman, Cole, came up to me advising he is trying to raise $5.00. I asked him for what and he said chapstick and wipes. I was like, that’s all you need?! He said well, no I need toothpaste and other stuff (forgot what he said). He said he needed socks too. I am kind of running low on cash but am blessed so I handed him $20.00. He said he washes cars and can do mechanic work and asked if there is anything he can do to repay me. I just told him…pay it forward when you can. I am going to publish this so it saves and will continue with my long day..leaving a lot of the angry parts out, because I am trying to focus on the positive, and will vent about the shitty parts of my day later.

So I encourage people to have bags in your car if you can with socks, toiletries, soap, chips, nutrigrain/protein bars, dog food/treats, I would say chapstick (but that will melt as it gets warmer out here in the hot summers in Tucson. Face wipes and hand wipes are always good tho and hand sanitizer. I always try to have those in my var for me. And tissue and toilet paper. Whatever you can and are able to give. Maybe a $5 or $10 bill or 1-2 $ bills included in your bag. I did this for a woman once with a dog and gave her a big pink bag and it just felt so good to be able to help her even if in just a little way. I even gave her some cheese hoping she was hungry and would eat it before it went bad and/or share with others. I think I gave her a bath towel as well, some chips, dog treats and dog food etc.

Tonight, I got home to a candle still burning.. it was a gift from my big 1 year AA Sobriety party! It says A new chapter of life for you! After AA which was amazing, I went back to the furniture store. I had my mattress and bed frame cancelled cause the delivery driver was so rude and his behavior and actions were unacceptable. It was just so unbelievable! But the sales guys and manager at the Ashley Furnuture store are amazing so was not going to take it out on them. Before AA, I went there and said I will reorder it later and maybe will get the whole set…cause I was approved for a furniture credit card for $3,500 when I ended up just putting it on my Citi Bank Costco card tho and another card. I demanded to try to use the finance program again instead of my credit cards. When the finance guy advised me I need to do a new application if I want the furniture card, I was now approved for $5,500 so got the whole bedroom set with 0% interest and payments for 3 months and it will be delivered on my b day 4/23 …next Wed!! Yay I am so excited! I even bought a $300 amazing double sided pillow, mattress protector along with the long dresser with mirror, an amazing $1200 mattress, frame with drawers and shelving, and a night stand. Once the $3500 is cancelled off my 2 other credit cards in 2-3 days, I will probably go back and but the tall dresser for my TV (Need to get a new TV at some point too cause that was a hand me down from my Dad too). And then my roommate will be gone after the next weekend and I can move my old furniture into the guest bedroom and will have a few more things to donate to people in need. My friend is picking up the mattress for her daughter tomorrow morning. Well her guy friend and son are for her daughter who is sleeping on a twin mattress on the floor. It wasn’t her fault this guy cancelled on us Wed night and Thursday! But I was pretty pissed. In my days before sobriety, I would cuss and yell and throw shit. I took my anger out but dragging the queen mattress and frame into the living room despite my lower back being fucked up! So now my mattress is on the floor. I was just going to sleep on the couch until my friend could get the bed, but I decided to check into the Hilton Hotel last night on Broadway and Pantano.. the hotel my Gramps John Simpson was the lead civil engineer. He was in the Navy then lived in Vegas for awhile doing hotels and casinos.

I still have a lot of good to write about my day today, but I am going to get my bed ready and do my nightly wind down routine. I am going to try not to take sleep meds tonight. Woke up in the middle of the night last night to an awful nightmare that felt so real. It wasn’t just because of the meds, it’s because despite having the most amazing night getting baptized at Pantano Christian Church, my brain is still processing a lot of trauma. Okay .. I am doing laundry now. Already washed my new king sheets, pillow cases, and comforter. Washing clothes now. Going to throw a clean queen sheet on my mattress, take a lavender bath, light some candles.. oh dang ..no music tonight cause I left my phone at the nail salon. Will just be a peaceful night and hopefully a blissful night of sleep!! Good night friends! Sleep well and sweet dreams!! Peace and Love!!