Sweet 16

Okay I am going to write another blog cause I still have about 45 minutes until another client checks in. My blogs are going to be completely out of order as far as my life timeline. My story from when I was 16 is probably too long for just one blog so I will just start with a little bit though. When I was 16 years old I was just a “normal” teenager. My Dad took me to get my license the morning I turned 16, I had a hand me down from my bro ..white Buick century with red velvet seats that I loved, I was a cheerleader and a dancer, I partied with my friends on the weekends and summer …drinking alcohol and smoking weed, I was a good student though still and got A’s and B’s. I loved the dumb song.. “Mmmm Bop” by the Hansen Brothers and No Digity by Blackstreet, and Twisted by Keith Sweat. Just realized I did not share my age yet, but if you didn’t guess it from that I am 43 and will be 44 on April 23rd. I was born in 1981 and graduated HS in 1999! I started to struggle with weight issues my freshman year I believe. I would gain 20 pounds, lose it, then gain about 40 pounds and lose it. I do not remember exactly how much I weighed but I know in middle school before HS, I wore a size 2 or 4 and was very thin and ran track. I know before prom my senior year I had gained a lot but then lost it again. But the summer after my sophomore year I think when I was 16, I lost about 20-40 pounds and wore a size 6 and looked very good with blonde hair and blue eyes. I remember going shopping with friends and buying a super cute pair of white shorts that I wore when I was in Hawaii. I have a picture somewhere in those shorts. My parents sent me to Hawaii to see my best friend who was there babysitting her cousins for the summer. Oh my goodness that was so much fun!! We cruised around in a car listening to Boombastic by Shaggy on cassette tape. I missed the concert in Hawaii by one day. My BFF Crystal got to go. My parents sent me on a plane by myself which I don’t even remember but I guess I was preparing for some solo traveling early. They sent me cause there were some signs of mental illness, although at that time they just had no clue what was going on and neither did I. I don’t even know what my parents were thinking, but I know looking back on it I was having some severe anxiety. I also was a Tucson Fire Cadet that summer before I went to Hawaii I believe. That alone could be it’s own blog. It was so awesome! My Aunt Nona had just died, and I saw her in her last stages of cancer. At that time, I was super Atheist and so even though there were signs all around me and angels all around me, I just became super paranoid cause I had no idea what was going on.

When in Hawaii, we went to a Luau and although we were only 16, they did not card us at the open bar! It was so awesome! We also went on a little boat cruise called the Body Glove. Dang if that is right, I have a great memory. Wow! That is right! I just googled it. I have pictures of us going off the slide from the top deck and snorkeling in my black bikini! So much fun! But towards the end of the trip, I just started crying for no reason. I honestly have no idea why I was crying and at the time i don’t think I knew either. I was just freaking out. My Dad was getting ready to come get me, because we weren’t sure if I would be able to fly home on my own. I was just so scared and confused and paranoid. I remember flying from the Big Island to Honolulu but when I was at the airport I was so confused and paranoid. I remember wearing Pooh bear shorts (boxers) I am pretty certain and was just wondering around. I know now that the feeling I had was my angels and God with me and following me. I eventually made it to my connecting flight on time but it was just the weirdest scariest experience. I was later put in the mental hospital for 1 week which is it’s own blog. There is still a lot more leading up to my very first hospital stay, my experience there, and what happened after but I do want to keep these blogs short easy reads. I can’t wait to get more involved with NAMI again to do speeches at High Schools with a program called Ending The Silence. Eventually I want to do more public speaking on my own with my own structure and style but in type meantime NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) is a great resource for anyone needing guidance or help with mental health. I used to do public speaking with them through a program called In Our Own Voice. I am excited to go to the NAMI walk on 4/5/25. It is so last minute, but I am going to try to get my logo made and a shirt made with a local company I found in town and talked to last year after none of the Moms and Women wanted to help me with their Crickets. Anyway, NAMI is awesome. If you are a teenager reading this please know there is hope and help out there and you are not alone. If you are a parent with a teenager who needs mental health help, just please be patient with them and have empathy and also know there is hope and help and resources out there.